1. It's okay to go to bed without your spouse... If all else fails, take all of your bedding into your living room and make a bed right next to where your spouse is doing his homework and forget that you actually own a bed.
2. Being married is like buying a double wide trailer and having one company build one side of it with no specifics and having another company build the other side of the trailer with no specifics either. When they're finished and put together, NOTHING will match up (despite what you think), but you bought the trailer and you need to work with it. You have to recognize that you were both raised differently and you will have challenges.
3. Sam used to be the better cook. Well, he probably still is, but I'm actually willing to fight for name of top chef in our household.
4. Put the Lord first. Going to the temple once a week since I've been endowed has been the biggest blessing. I attribute the lack of fighting in our marriage to temple blessings.
5. If you cut it, the other person gets to pick first.
6. When you are only 5'5 and your husband is 6'5 DON'T purchase a car with mechanical seat movers. This is just as important as my dad's advice not to purchase couches with pillows...
7. Some of the best marital advice I got came from my BFF Aly who had been married for a little over a year when I got married. A few weeks before the wedding she sent me 12 pages worth of advice/talks. Let's have an honesty moment. Those 12 pages became my marriage bible and I still frequently pull out those pages for a quick piece of marital inspiration. One thing that she specifically said has impacted everything I do: cleaning the house, making the bed, folding the laundry, making lunches every night, etc. This simple piece of advice has made all of the difference in the way I look at my marriage: Intentions and attitude make more of a difference than you expect. Your motivation for everything should be “show Sam I love him more than anything else in the world.”
8. My love language is snuggling. In high school I would run miles and miles to avoid any sort of contact with a member of the opposite gender, but now there is nothing I love more than sitting next to Samuel on the couch. or little kisses. Samuel's is not.
9. I always have to feel like we're a team. If I don't feel that way, well... prepare yourself for tears. I also have come to find that I'm not as cold hearted as I thought I was. Everything makes me cry: babies, people serving others, books, movies, articles, talks, chocolate, flamin hot funions, warm blankets, everything... it's a problem.
10. My whole life I've always imagined myself getting married and living next door to my parents. Moving outside of Utah scared the living daylights out of me. Now the thought of moving to Utah scares me even more.
11. Everyone is going to judge your marriage. Don't let it get to you. You know your marriage better than anyone else.
12. Grocery shopping is my favorite date night. I think I'm going to cry when we're no longer near a WINCO.
13. Finding something you like to do together is important. We decided that we wanted to be foodies. Problem. Being foodies is a lot harder than I thought it would be.. especially when we have a deep love for McDonald's hot fudge sundaes and pizza...
14. Being supportive doesn't always mean making big signs and taking them to a game. Sometimes it means taking dinner to him in the Econ Lab and letting him stay there all night. Even some Fridays.
15. “Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident." Louis de Bernieres, Corelli's Mandolin
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